Friday, October 22, 2010

The Funnies

Spread the Stupidity

Only in drugstores make the sick walk all the way to
 the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people
 can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in  America people
 order double cheeseburgers,
 large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in  America banks
 leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in we leave cars worth thousands of dollars
 in the driveway and put our
 useless junk in the garage.

Only in we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and
  buns in packages of eight..

Only in they have drive-up ATM machines with
 Braille lettering.


Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens
 our skin?

Why can't 
women    put on mascara
 with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the
 headline 'Psychic Wins


Why is 'abbreviated'
such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call
 what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all
 your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored
 cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those
 two mosquitoes?


Why do they sterilize the
 needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black
 box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane
 out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments
 when they are all stuck together?


I like this one!!!
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

                                 If flying is so safe, why do they
                                                            call the airport, the terminal?

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