Wednesday, November 18, 2009
How can I put this into words? I have had my share of struggles along the way of life, struggles caused by my own mistakes or bad decisions. Or struggles that just happened.
Oh---- on the outside everything looks great and perfect I suppose. But on the inside I have found myself, angry, bitter and extremely hard hearted. My way of building walls to protect myself. Over the last few years or so I have really been working on this. Taking a real good look at myself. I am thankful, for I can now feel my heart softening, the bitterness going away, the anger not as profound!! This is a GOOD thing! Under pressure, your faith-life is forced to show its true colors...and mine was not very pretty. But you know what? The color is becoming prettier every day! For I know, that God is in complete control of this world and He loves me! My life is not by random chance, fate or luck.....it is fully planned,,, planned out by God. All my mistakes, hurts, struggles, illness, pain, divorce, debt, death of loved ones, addictions of any kind, what ever it is, for you or me....good can come out of it. If I become a better person or a more sympathetic person or if I can help someone else because of my life story.....than that is Good coming out of something bad. So I can actually say as hard as life can be sometimes...I am thankful because through the toughest stuff....(once I got rid of my stubbornness) I am like a jewel...shaped with a hammer and chisel. The hammer wasn't strong enough to chip off the rough edges, out came the sledgehammer, if that wasn't strong enough...out came the jackhammer! okay, okay, I got it! Easy does it. God is refining me into what he wants me to be and that makes me thankful.